Being Famous Sucks
by NekoChan567
Summary: ...according to Kyle. After a few little tweaks to his hair and a small photoshoot, he suddenly finds himself swarmed by girls and pressured by his friends. How will he get his life back intact? Contains multiple pairings so don't say I didn't warn you.


_Chapter 1 – Good News_

**Hello kittens, it's NekoChan567! This weird idea just popped into my head and so I'm just gonna satisfy my brain by writing it out here. Lol sorry if it sucks. They are still canon age, just so you know. (For those of you who don't know, canon age is ten years old) Multiple pairings.**

"Guys! GUUUYYYSS!" Kyle turned his head to the sound of the unmistakable voice of Cartman. What did the fatass want this time? "What?" he asked. According to what he knew, Cartman would probably start blabbering on about the Coon or some stupid shit like that. A magazine was shoved in his face. "Hey!" he snapped, "What the fuck was that for?!" "Look at it, Kahl!" was all that he got for a reply.

He rolled his eyes and looked down at the stupid magazine, unsure of what to expect. It was just some old kids magazine. "I don't see anything special about this. It's just a magazine." He raised an eyebrow, looking back up at the fat brunet. Cartman flipped to the second page. Kyle immediately understood what Cartman was so excited about. "Wow! A hundred dollars?!" he gasped, reading over the words one more time.

Stan and Kenny, who were sitting beside him, leaned over to see what was up. "Mphmph mph!" Kenny exclaimed, his words muffled beneath his parka. "Dude, that is amazing! Just for one picture?" Stan seemed equally surprised. It said, right there on the page, that you could win a hundred dollar prize for sending the best picture of yourself or someone you know. It was only for kids the ages of 9 to 13. That meant they could enter!

"All we need now is a suitable subject." Cartman said, smirking with triumph. "Kyle can do it!" Stan pointed at his best friend, who widened his eyes at the prospect. "W-what?! No! There's no way you're taking a picture of me and sending it! I-I'm not necessarily photogenic…" he protested, his face going red. "Mph, mph mph mph! Mph mphmphmph mph mph mphmphmph mph mph mph mph!" Kenny assured him.

Kyle's face went even redder. "As much as I hate to admit it, Kahl, it's true." Cartman shrugged, looking him up and down. "Yeah, dude. You look sort of like a girl, to be honest." Stan agreed. "How's that supposed to be a good thing?!" Kyle cried, covering his face with his hands, "Not to mention my freaking hair! It's pretty much just a red bush that sits on my head." He self-consciously tucked a curly red lock underneath his hat.

"Nah, don't worry about your hair. I'll bet that Phoebe can fix it!" Stan patted his back. The three of them dragged a protesting Kyle over to Craig's house. Much to their luck, Phoebe answered the door. She quirked an eyebrow. "What do you want?" she asked, bluntly. Her voice somewhat carried a nasally tone, like her cousin, Craig's, but it wasn't as strong. Her peach-colored hair was tied into two pigtails and mostly covered by a lavender and yellow beanie.

"Mph mph mph mph mph?" Kenny asked, getting straight to the point. Phoebe's face took on a look of confusion. "Fix his hair? Why?" she replied. "We need to take pictures of him." Stan explained, earning another look of puzzlement, and then her expression changed to one of disgust. "No, not in that way!" his face flushed and he shook his head vigorously, wondering what was going on in her head that would make her think like this.

She studied the look on his face suspiciously. After a few moments, her face loosened a bit, and she reluctantly let them in. Kyle had long given up on struggling and helplessly let them lead him inside. _Goddamnit! Why the fuck did I ever agree to this?_ He thought as his hair was cut, washed, and brush. He felt like a pet being groomed at the saloon. "Aaaaaand done." Phoebe said, looking satisfied with herself.

As Kyle stared at his reflection, he had to admit he didn't look half bad. His hair looked somewhat messy, but in a way that it looked good. It looked soft, too, and every lock was curved at the end. His bangs were fringed, framing his small face quite nicely. _Job well done, Phoebe,_ he thought. "Do you like it?" she asked, tilting her head a bit to the side. "Not bad." He shrugged.

Stan, Cartman, and Kenny walked into the room. "Hey, how's it-" Cartman trailed off when he saw Kyle's hair, "Woah, dude…" "Well, anyways, I'm done so you guys can go on and do whatever now. If Craig sees you guys in here, he's probably going to bitch at me for even looking at you." Phoebe rolled her eyes. After a short goodbye, the boys walked out. "Jesus, dude!" Stan finally burst when they were back at his house, "I knew she could work with hair products and a brush, but goddamn!"

"Yeah, yeah, I guess she did a good job." Kyle muttered, bashfully, "Let's just get to the picture." They decided to take his hat off, since his hair wasn't visible while he was wearing it and didn't want Phoebe's work to go to waste. The picture was taken at Stark's Pond, with Kyle sitting on the log and looking off like he didn't care, since this worked with Cartman's album photo. They sent it to the email that the magazine specified.

The next day at school, Kyle was at his locker and preparing what he needed for class when he was suddenly pulled into a bone-crushing hug by none other than the fatass himself. "Kahl, I could totally kiss you right now!" Cartman said, much to the redhead's horror. "Please don't…" Kyle managed to choke out, pushing against the larger boy's broad chest.

When he was finally able to breathe again, the first thing he did was slap Cartman in the face. "Ow! Fuck, Kahl! What was that for?!" Cartman yelped, rubbing the red mark on his cheek. "For nearly killing me." Kyle retorted sharply, "What do you want anyway?" "I just got an email saying we fucking won, Kahl!" Cartman told him, his chocolate brown eyes shining, "We're getting a hundred dollars! Not to mention, they also said they're posting it on the magazine and will pay us more if we send more pictures!"

Kyle froze. Posting it on the magazine…? More pictures…? "What?" was all he could get out. Stan rushed up to them. "Hey dudes, what's going on?" the dark-haired boy asked. Cartman explained everything to him. "That's awesome! But…why does Kyle look like he's about to barf?" he cast a curious look at his best friend. This was a bit too much for little Kyle to cope with. It wouldn't seem like a big deal to most people, but he didn't really like the idea of having pictures of him going out to God knows how many people.

He suddenly began to feel dizzy, and the words of his friends were muffled out. Without warning, he blacked out. "Kyle? Kyle! Hey, wake up!" the first thing he heard was Stan's voice. He didn't respond and just turned his back to the direction the voice came from. His so-called 'friends' were selling him out for money! Just great. "Shut up. I don't want to talk to you." he muttered, shifting a bit so that he could lay face-down.

He heard Stan let out a defeated sigh. "Look Kyle, I know you're mad at us, but this is an awesome opportunity! Not to mention you're going to be famous, too." He tried to reason with the redhead. Kyle flipped himself over and glared at the ceiling. The bright light hurt his eyes, but the sight of his friends would probably burn right through his head.

"Well maybe I don't want to be famous! If I did, I'd do it by actually working to reach my goals, not by just standing there and letting people take pictures of me!" he snapped. "Come on, Jew, you should get that sand out of your vagina and lighten up. You know, opportunities like this aren't given to everybody. When you have the chance, you have to take that opportunity-" Cartman began, but was cut off by Kyle. "Nice try, fatass. But that kind of talk only works on Butters." He grumbled.

He sat up and hopped off of the bed, pushing past Stan to exit the nurse's office. "Oh my gosh! Kyle!" Bebe's voice reached his ears once he was out, "I saw you on that magazine! I must say, your picture looks fucking amazing!" a bunch of other girls crowded around him, squealing and complimenting him. "What the fuck?" he yelped, backing away so that he wouldn't drown in the mob. He ran off and hid in the bathroom, confused and shocked. _What the hell just happened?!_

**End of Chapter**

**Lol I was always curious about the thought of one of the boys becoming a model. Well, anyways, if you liked it don't forget to review and favorite! :P**

**\- NekoChan567**


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